Okay, Okay. If it takes a frickin' pony ride to get your business, we will get you a pony ride.

Simply add your request for a Pony Ride to the back of the check with your first invoice and we'll schedule it and give you directions to the stables. You're the one who wants the free Pony Ride so we can't be held responsible for what either Red or Shadow (they're the horses) do to you in the course of your ride. Or any other bad things that might happen. You know - all that stuff you see on FOX specials about "When Animals Go Berserk IV."

You will be required to saddle, bit and bridle the horse on your own, as well as do the whole pre-ride hoof picking and post-ride horse washing cool down deal. Wear some old jeans and sturdy boots, you're gonna get messy and stepped on. We'll provide the tack but you have to do all the fun stuff to get it ready. And due to the fact that we aren't total idiots, this offer is only good for you. Not your nieces who "always wanted a pony" or your nephew who wants to know how hard he can pull a horse's tail. Nope, just you. Tall in the saddle.

Afterwards, we'll even give you a special certificate showing you survived an actual Pony Ride and we may even post your picture here on the website for the whole world - including your boss and co-workers - to see.

As you can see we want this death defying-experience to be a fun filled outing for everyone and not just some business expense tax dodge allowing us to write off the costs of feeding these two hayburners. Really.